S01E01: Pilot

J • Wamal: Hold on, am I supposed to introduce myself here?

J• Güstin: Well, it is kind of the purpose of this page, isn’t it? I mean…

J • Wamal: Don’t be rude.

J• Güstin: I… sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude, I…

J • Wamal: Don’t be rude.

J• Güstin: I’m sorry.

J • Wamal: Never mind. *Sigh* So. What do they want me to say? They know my name…

J• Güstin: Actually, they don’t.

J • Wamal: J • Wamal. It is written all over the page, it is J • Wamal. And don’t tell me it is not my real name because there is a point in it.

J• Güstin: You mean a dot.

J • Wamal: I am allowed to have points in my name. But you know what? I know what this is about. They can’t tell whether I’m a man or a woman because of this… dot. They cannot pinpoint my gender so it pisses them off.

J• Güstin: I see your point.

J • Wamal: So they want to know a little bit more about this mysterious J • Wamal, whether FX is his favorite channel, whether she swears by Mindy, Lena and Jill. Well, both!

J• Güstin: True dat, you enjoy vulgarity as much as poetry.

J • Wamal: I am a writer and a marketing professional specialised in arts and entertainment.

J• Güstin: So I put “female”…

J • Wamal: Shut up. Another sexist remark like this one, and I have your character executed in one of the most sexist countries of your choice. Just name it.

J• Güstin: Hollywood.

J • Wamal: What, it’s not… 

J• Güstin: I’d love to die in Hollywood. Who wouldn’t, right?

J • Wamal: I am a writer and a marketing expert, someone has to keep this interview going, my company’s name is P:S Arts & Entertainment.

J• Güstin: Oh, like “P.S I love you”?

J • Wamal: Ugh. Like Profession:Scribe.

J• Güstin: Cause you know, you also have PlayStation, PhotoShop…

J • Wamal: Ok, like P.S. in P.S. I love you. Like in Post Scriptum.

J• Güstin: There’s also Parti Socialiste, Palestine, Polystyrene, Police Station, Positro…

J • Wamal: You can’t shut up by yourself, can you? It seems like you always need a third party to invite you to quit talking.

J• Güstin: I don’t know, you’re the writer. You put those words in my mouth. Can we please wrap it up? 

J • Wamal: Would you tell God that because she created you, she’s responsible for all the useless nonsense you say?

J• Güstin: Please, cut the philosophical crap, you don’t even believe in God.

J • Wamal: But I love philosophy! Wait a minute. I just gave my name, my unidentifiable gender, talked about my job, my religion and my hobby. Does it make who I am? Are the readers going to be satisfied with that? With… with those boxes I just checked?

J• Güstin: There you go…